I’ve been doing comedy for seven heart-wrenching years, but been doing the human being thing for a soul-crowbarring 30. And yet, I still have no clever response to a meanie dropping a “you suck” bomb on me. And I hear it all the time, whether it’s an attack on my comedy while on stage or an ex telling me off for not picking up her calls. Unfortunately, I can’t just delete every “you suck” from my voicemail; it often permeates the brain and lingers for years. And the “you suck,” no matter what shape it takes (“you smell weird,” or “stop calling me and hanging up, you sad, sad clown,” etc.), is the basis of all hatred in this world, responsible for wars, every case of suicide, and, most depressing of all: “mean people suck” bumper stickers. But c’mon! There’s got to be a better way of coming back at such a simple expression without … Continue reading
So I’ve gone viral AGAIN! (The first time being when I got infected in May, see last post). More recently, a video of mine went viral on one of the highest-trafficked websites in the world (arguably the universe), World Star Hip Hop! For those unfamiliar with the self-dubbed “#1 urban outlet,” CBS News describes the site as “infamous for posting videos of violent fights and public sexual acts.” My video was neither AND YET still yielded over 200,000 views. Let’s see what users are saying: Okay Trillest Ever, it’s been over ten days and I haven’t forgotten, so looks like you aren’t as trill as your verification suggests! And yes Greg4422, white people love it! Now, if you’re still reading you’re probably thinking, “DAMN I REALLY WANT TO SEE THIS GUY’S VIDEO, I’VE NEVER SEEN A VIDEO BEFORE, THIS SOUNDS SO INTERESTING.” I sense some sarcasm in your … Continue reading
My roommate and I wrote and filmed this sketch a few years ago, but some friends I showed it to shot it down. So we never released it. Suddenly, it’s topical, so f*@k those friends. Enjoy.
Some of you are expecting a joke here. Like HIV stands for “Hilarious Internet Vegetarian” or something stupid like that. No, this time there’s no joke. Last week at a Kaiser in West Covina, I was told that I have HIV. It’s not easy for me to put this into words, and it all happened so fast. Just over a week ago, things were going better than ever. I was finally back home after weeks on the road, had just won a $1,000 comedy competition, and was feeling, physically, in the best shape of my life. I even thought to myself, “Man, this is like the best my life has ever been. I’m… Happy.” My advice to you all is never have this thought. Or else you’ll soon find out you have HIV. I’m at the gym on a pleasant Sunday, when I feel some eerie chills. I … Continue reading